***Writers note: I wrote this article on Christmas Eve. Initially I had hoped I would not have to publish it. Primarily, I wrote for a cathartic medicinal purpose, my own. I had high hopes this thing to work itself out as these things sometimes tend to do here in SL. But unfortunately in this case, that didn’t happen. That’s too bad.
I received news from a model colleague that 24 models would be negatively affected by the actions of one of the agency owners mentioned below, when activities were stepped up a bit by communications made in a group chat last night by an agency employee.
Last night in this group chat, it was said by an employee of the “note card” agency that any models who had not left the “note card” agency modeling group due to their affiliation with another agency would not be allowed to walk in any shows for said agency. Why did this even come up? Because of recent casting calls and someone asking point blank questions.
You’ll be able to connect the dots in a minute when you read the following blog posting, don’t worry, it’s a continuing saga so I’m sure you’ll catch up quick. When I learned of these developments, I felt as if I could no longer remain silent. I truly had hoped that tempers would have cooled and the problems if not resolved would at least be kept between the parties involved in the disputes, and not involve innocent bystanders aka the models. But that didn’t happen either.
As a result it became apparent that 24, twenty-four, people are basically being used as pawns in a virtual game of tug and war. One side says you can work here; you can stay here as long as you want, but you won’t walk in any shows unless you leave the other side. The other side has made no demands to date.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking sides here. I don’t want to. What I am doing is speaking towards negative acts, propagated towards people who have absolutely nothing to do with whatever this war is about.
I don’t care what it’s about. It’s not my business. What is my business however is the part I’m involved in as being a model for both agencies. More importantly being a human being and knowing there are 23 other people who will also be forced to make a decision they should not be asked to make. That said… here’s the blog.
You know… I really hate to do this on this day, the eve before Christmas. But dang if it isn’t burning a hole through my gray matter in attempts to get out.
Yesterday I received a note card from one of the modeling agencies I work for. While I can’t share the text with you out of respect of TOS, the initial paragraph expressed how deeply sorry the writer was for having to take the action for which they were about to explain.
Immediately I got that familiar old feeling of being back in sixth grade. It’s never good when someone starts off with something to the effect of … I really hate to do this but because this person did this, I have to do that.
To me that’s always a bad indicator. One that kind of jumps up and down screaming… I’m pissed off and I’m going to make everyone pay for it.
For those that don’t have a clue what’s going on, let me just try and lay it out for you so you can at least have an inkling of what’s happened.
Apparently two of the modeling agencies I belong to have had a... hmm... what’s the best way to put this… ok... let’s try this, a series of unfortunate events and communications.
Because the two conflicting owners and a couple of common employees of both agencies are having some disagreement/controversy/opposition/feud/clash/falling out/row/squabble/dispute and any other words my trustee lexicon of a thesaurus can muster up, one of the agencies has told all models of who are mutually associated with both agencies, they must choose which agency to stay with.
This was all said with some pretty flowery words and a smattering of just the right amount of anguish that intended to make the sting a bit easier to handle, by the recipient of said note card. In essence what it comes down to is, if we stay with the opposing modeling agency we cannot be a part of the agency that sent the note card.
Blinks.
Is it me or does this smack of the whole class getting punished for “Jimmy” not doing his homework?
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know every person involved in this situation. Most are on my friends list and some are actually friends. Is it my business what’s going on or has gone on in this dispute? Nooooooo. Not unless someone wants to make me part of it and I say to you with a whole congress of impassioned pleas…. PLEASE do not make me part of it. ;)
Anywho… my point is why are we, the models who have had nothing to do with this getting punished? Most of the models from both agencies have been apart of this and many other agencies for quite some time and I don’t believe there have been any issues with the models themselves being a problem for either aforementioned agency. So why?
I’ll tell you why. Because someone is pissed off and wants to make a power play.
In doing so, this person virtually says, I’m going to show you how powerful I really am by making people take sides. They’ll take my side because I am who I am, I have power and they’ll hate you (the opposing side) because of having to make this choice… and those who don’t take my side will eventually pay for it anyway because I have the memory of an elephant and let us not forget, power.
Now come on, no business owner in their right mind in first life would take such actions. If they did, they know they would be laughed out of whatever industry they’re in because of such childish behavior.
What’s next? Will designers and other businesses be virtually blackmailed into taking sides? That would be really low. I sure hope that’s not the case but regrettably I think it might be.
Will I pay for this blog posting? Oh you can be pretty sure I will, yessireebob. Why you might ask? Because apparently this person doesn’t know how to make decisions based on the qualifications of and or act rationally towards the occurrence or incident in question. This person responds emotionally instead of intellectually. Freedom of the press you say? Reasonable expectations? Qualified decisions? Rational thought? Evidently that’s in low supply in SL.
So tell me... why is this accepted here? Why do people continue to associate themselves with others that are doing nothing more than the virtual reality version of bullying? That’s the part that kills me. Hey… I hear you, “I have a business, and I can’t afford to have it negatively impacted”… I have a business here to. And sure, this person could affect my business negatively for the rest of my SLife for me writing this blog alone, and sadly, mostly likely will try. But remaining silent for an action I see as so clearly wrong would affect me even more negativelyl. While I still have some self respect, a little moral compass that keeps ticking and some tiny bit of ethical conscience left, I’m not really willing to slide further down the evolutionary brain train with the owner of this agency and their ridiculous tactics.
You guys know me, well most of you do and I speak up only when I think there is something that needs to be brought out from the dark cave into the light. I cannot help but continue to believe that fundamentally most people are good, rational and fair. Naïve? Maybe. But I like to think given the opportunity to look at something from another perspective in some cases, not all, but some just might, result in a poorly executed action being recalled due to “my bad”. I like to think that if you’re wrong about something, if you’ve been rash, irrational and allowed your “big bully” from elementary school to make a crucial decision for you that when you’ve calmed down, regained your senses and wiped away the tears, one can see the error of their ways, stand up, suck it up and take responsibility while setting things right.
Now THAT would earn respect in my book.
Soooo... I’ll go ahead and put this out there because, while I may lose some customers, I really don’t want to lose any more self esteem.
This next part is directed at the owner of the agency who is imposing their will on and forcing 24 models to make a choice.
Dear Agency Owner:
Thanks for allowing me to be a part of your agency for as long as it’s been in existence.
I’ve had fun working with the people that are a part of your agency and I’ve worked really hard for shows I’ve been a part of, albeit personally it’s been awhile. I’ve always been a faithful and loyal employee and when given the opportunity I’ve spoken the name of your agency to designers and friends alike with great pride.
Having said that, I’m confused why you’re now telling me I can no longer be a part of your agency simply because you have differences with another agency with whom I am affiliated. Especially since I’ve been a part of both agencies for this long and as far as I can tell that has never been a problem in the past.
I have a few questions if you don’t mind. Why am I being punished? What good will come of this action? Is this a rational decision on your part? Seriously, will you take a moment to consider the rationale behind this? Ask some of your most trusted friends and colleagues their opinions and find out if this is really the right action to take before you instigate it? Oh, and by the way, it should be people who are not on your “yes men” list that way you get the most fair and unbiased opinions.
I’m asking these questions because one would hate to think you are simply reacting emotionally to a situation, using the old stand by of “I’m taking my ball and bat and going home” rather than giving this full and rational thought.
Now because I know you personally, I know you’ll read this and probably think… “What a bitch” and click the big red “you’ve been ejected from the group” button without hesitation. But just once, just one time I would really like to be wrong on that and think you’re smarter than the average pinto bean.
Anyway, Happy Holidays to you and yours, all the best to the wife and kids, etc., etc.
Cherie Parker
Ok... now that I’ve addressed the agency owner let me go ahead and just wrap this up because I’m feeling much better now, gotten this off my chest and can get back to work.
Let me know what you guys think. If you think I’m wrong… that’s okay. Like I’ve said many times before, we don’t have to agree on everything to like each other. I’m good with that.
Cherie
24 comments:
Friends don't force friends to choose. The same goes for agency employers. Unless the agency wants to put you on salary so you are paid whether there are jobs or not, the agency has no business telling you that you cannot work for another agency.
And I have no idea which agencies are involved.
I think its ridiculous that "models" are with every agency there is anyway. In real life modelling you can't do that.
I also don't see the purpose behind this post, especially since you don't name the agencies involved. You've never had a problem naming names before.
Thank you Cherie for putting into words what all of us are thinking.
I am one of the 24 involved, and at this moment, I have refused to leave and do not feel that being forcd to make a choice is right. We are models, independent and should remain that way. This is not only trying ot force us to make a choice, but also to dictate what we can and can't do.
This is unfair, and the circumstances leading up to this have been a series of different actions resulting in this final last two big actions (three if you include the no-show amendment.)
As models involved, it "is" using us as pawns, in a personal war that is not ours. We should and always should remain free to work for whom we want, and to do our jobs without fear of retaliation in any form.
Thank you Cherie for your post.
here we go....im one of 24 too :)
and totally agree with Summer and Mavi in totally way
nice blog Cherie hugs :)
That is what happens when you work with an egotistical asshole like Frolic. You all should know better by now.
Update: I have left both. Happy Holidays.
Hi Cherie :-) I always so admire those who take a stand not only for themselves but others too.
Not entirely sure what this is about but like you say, everyone doesn't need to know the gory details but roping innocents into a personal spat is unfair, particularly those who have demonstrated loyalty and commitment building up an empire for another.
Good for you taking a stand against injustice.
Talking about taking sides, I think you all ready did Cherie. And I would buy all this 'ethics' 'self respect' and 'honesty' if you hadn't just won a photography award from one of those agencys.
I completely agree that all this is very childish, but I don't think that what Poptart did is excusable in any way.
She started this and she hurt lots of people, and honestly if they were my friends or your friends Cherie, I think you would defend them too, just like Frolic is doing.
Was it the wrong way? maybe, but I don't see you talking about the wrongness of the other side, which to me is worse.
Did an award get in the way?
Shame on you!
Dear Anonymous
Shame on me? You say this whilst posting this under anonymous? Shame on you. Stand up and have a backbone and post this under your real name and then I’ll be happy to talk to you. But since you’ve chosen the spineless jellyfish route it seems to me you have very little room to speak.
Have I chosen a side? Not in whatever argument or disagreement took place, no. I don’t even know all the details and I choose not to. I don’t really care who started this or who finishes it. You know what I do care about? Bullying tactics and using 24 innocent people in the process of a power play.
Are you blind? Can you not see that? Defend my friends? You mean like Frolic is?? Never. Sorry but I’ll never use those kind of tactics to “defend” anyone. I’m assuming you mean the ones like, leave the other group or you’ll never walk my runway again…? Is that the kind of defending you’re talking about? Holy mother of kindergarten… how old are you?
Please don’t lecture me on my ethics, my self respect and honesty when you have absolutely no intentions of placing yourself, using your real name in front of an issue where force and bullying tactics are being used on 24 innocent bystanders and take a stand. You have the integrity and intestinal fortitude of a blade of grass. Don’t you dare lecture me.
Did I win an award? You bet your sweet ass I did. I broke my back working on art for that contest, and no one handed me anything, I worked to win that contest. And everyone who knows me knows that. But they also know that I wouldn’t let that get in the way of taking a stand where I feel one needs to be taken. I can guarantee you that.
Like I said, I don’t care what the argument is about. But I do care about the true issue at hand. And you… let’s get back to you shall we? You’re just trying to blindside the public with the age old slight of hand trick, three- card- monte hoping the REAL issue here is taken out of focus.
But that’s not gonna happen as long as I’m able to type.
Power plays and bullying campaigns by someone who thinks they’re so powerful they can get away with it will NEVER be acceptable.
SHAME ON YOU for defending this kind of action!
Cherie, I think the anonymous is talking about Poptart starting the whole thing about demanding ppl to take sides.
I was ejected after I refused to take sides and that's how all this started. Then it was Barb...
Lots of ppl talked to her telling her that it was wrong to eject members just because they didn't side with her, including designers but she not only didn't listen, she took ME off her list!
I have not whined or complained about this..but to this day, I wonder what I did wrong....NOTHING! All I did was tell her I couldn't take sides especially when I was never a part of her personal issues/fights/friction whatever it was with Frolic, nor do I know the whole story.
I agree that what Frolic did was maybe not the right way, but at least he didn't eject ppl nor confront them one by one to demand taking his side.
This is exactly what happened before all this started and I am sorry that the whole thing was blown into a mess but like anonymous says....he didn't start this.
It's kind of weird that you are saying this Kay as you were there too when Mr. Mills said the words "if only Pop had made me that favour I asked" nothing would have happened. This to my eyes is an admission of responsibility. If you don't bow to Mr. Mills requests he is at war with you and he will make your life miserable. That is why I left BOulevard, because I saw the true colors of the man, not because I took any sides.
Mavi, the drama queen of the universe.
anonymous....omg u should win an award too for be so courageous and don't show your name is great talk in bad way about people hidden really a big applause for you very good.
A big hugs to Mavi and Cherie and
Kay if im not wrong isn't Pop that asked models to leave one or other agency....
Happy New Year to all for u too anonymous...:)
Dear Kay, (part 1)
First I want to thank you for weighing in on this issue. Second, as someone on my friends list, I’m deeply sorry you’re having this problem. I’ll speak to that point in a moment.
Third, I’m going to have to say I disagree when you contend Anonymous’ point. Her point was to infer I had taken a side, and she did this trying to insinuate an underhanded reason for doing so. I.E. The photography contest I won recently. In other words it was a rather unskilled attempt of bait and switch, using my character and ethics as the bait. Her unveiled pursuit to remove the focus off the subject of my posting indicates to me, she was not concerned about anyone. And certainly not the 24 innocent people being dragged into this episode for no apparent purpose other than to bank them for use in a war they’re not involved in.
As far as anonymous is concerned, she lost whatever credibility she had resorting to these tactics.
As for you and your situation. You and I have never had a problem Kay. We’ve worked together at many agencies for a long time. We’ve always gotten along famously. Although I would not go so far as to say we’re “friends” in the traditional sense of spending a great deal of time together and sharing confidences, we’re certainly more than acquaintances. I value and respect how hard you work at whatever task you’re given. You have a skill set I don’t possess when it comes to show management etc,. You’re a very talented, hard working individual and I respect that. I’ve always told you with a smile and a wink “I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!”. ;)
Moving along, I’m going to tell you what I would tell any friend of mine had they had come to me with this very same situation.
I wasn’t there. I have no way of seeing both sides entirely. Are you right? Perhaps. Are you wrong? Perhaps. Are there elements of right and wrong thread thru this whole thing? Most definitely.
(continued below)
Part 2
And while you may be my friend, I can’t fight your battles for you. I’m sorry whatever series of events unfurled to make this situation occur. I’m sorrier that people got hurt in the process, like you. But I have faith in your ability as a human, an adult someone capable of rational thought and speech to try and either work things out or, if that’s not possible, move on, put it behind you and go about your life. I would hope as a friend you would not ask me to go to the battle front if it were not a life or death necessity.
Now as a friend I’ll be here to listen, provide a shoulder, give advice or act as a mediator if asked to, and of course bring the vodka to the pity party we can throw after. But that’s pretty much where I draw the line on what I’ll do in a situation like this for a friend. The parameters would change significantly if in RL someone were say about to physically attack a friend. Rest assured, I would be all over the offending party like a bad smell.
“I agree that what Frolic did was maybe not the right way, but at least he didn't eject ppl nor confront them one by one to demand taking his side.”
That’s not exactly true and I’ll be brief here because as you can already tell I have a hard time with text management.
While he did not eject anyone, when this first came to light, it was indicated we had to choose. When that resulted in a flurry of very confused and hurt people, Frolic backed down and quietly decided not to allow anyone associated with the other agency to walk in Blvd. shows. Still, not right, in any way, shape or form as the 24 other people rudely yanked into this ordeal should NOT have to pay for anyone else’s actions.
Nuff said on that because as of yesterday, and if I read the card right Frolic has rescinded his action on the models and they’re free to make their own choices without fear of retaliation or not being able to walk in a show.
If that’s the case, all’s right in the world again and I can go back to doing what I love most. Pushing pixels around with my virtual crayons.
Again, I’m sorry Kay and if you want to talk, my door is always open. I’m more than willing to try and help when I can.
To Salvo: No, Poptart didn't even give a choice! She went to ejecting all the models without even asking them!
To Mavi: Seriously hon? Do you think Mr. Mills cares about who gets into what agency? You obviously don't know him lol
Glad all is good now :)
I don't recall saying he cared! :)
Cherie.. you know I love you.. seriously.. I do..
But if you are going to say this.. why not start with the fact the Kay and I were fired by Pop before this all started - purely because we work for Frolic? Is that anymore right than what Frolic did? Kay and I have worked our asses off for Pop.. and that's what we got in return.
It's not like I am involved in any decision-making at BOSL or Boulevard.. and Pop's excuse that we were execs for another company is frankly BS.. she walks for many other agencies - does that mean she is spying for Modavia?
Stand up for models rights by all means.. by why the 24 and not the 2? Do numbers matter?
Hiya Barb :)
(Part 1)
Yea, I do know. And you also know I love you right back. So I hope you know I’m going to address your questions with as much depth, consideration, sincerity and honesty as humanly possible. Having said that, you also know this will be in two parts due to the limitation of character spaces allowed in the bloger comments and the words “condense” or “streamline” not being part of my constitution.
First you ask why not start with the fact that you and Kay were fired by Pop before this all started. I can answer that. Because I didn’t know what transpired between you and Pop and between Kay and Pop, I wasn’t involved in that. No one told me anything about that at all. It’s that simple. Really it is.
I had no intentions of getting involved in “this” until I was kind of dropped into it as part of the 24 models affected. You see… apparently what you and others are taking issue with me on is, that I haven’t stood up and said anything about what Pop has done.
Well, I how can I? It’s not that I don’t believe you... or Kay. I can only assume what you tell me to be the truth unless I have first hand knowledge that it’s not. That axiom applies to every person I know of whom I have some working knowledge of their character. If I haven’t been involved in something first hand, how can I know whose truth is the one I believe to be valued more right than wrong?
Everyone has a different view on things, here in SL and in RL. One can say, she did this without so much as a reason. Is that the truth? From Side A it very well might be. From Side B she may have reasons to believe what she did was right. Is that the truth? For her it might be. You get where I’m going with this?
But just so you know where I stand I’ll tell you this. If in fact Pop did indeed fire you and Kay with no more reason other than to say, “it’s because you work for Frolic” then I would say to you, in my humble opinion, she acted rashly, and certainly could have handled that better and was probably acting out of some kind of fear other than rational thought. And certainly that would not have been how I would have handled things but who knows, again I’m not privy to all the details.
But just as soon as I say that, let us say Pop were to come to me and say, here is the reason why I fired them. (Not that I think she will! please God shoot me first) And while I truly don’t know what her reasons were let us say for the act of playing out this scenario she did. And here’s where I pick up inferred material from your text above that perhaps she felt you and Kay might spy for Frolic. I would then have to say, okay, that’s her belief. Is it right or wrong? Depends on what knowledge she has and her belief that indeed something may happen. While it may not reflect my belief, it is hers and she is entitled to it just as you and Kay are entitled to your beliefs. Did she make a qualified decision? That depends. On facts I’m not privileged to know. Would it have been my decision? No, it would not.
(part 2)
This whole blog, the entire thing, seriously I didn’t believe I would publish because as I said I had hopes it would work itself out. It wasn’t until Frolic decided to intern the 24, of which I was a part of, for actions they had no involvement in that I decided to step up and say something.
Does that mean that I believe Pop acted fairly with regards to you and Kay? No, it certainly does not. What it does mean is that I was not and am still not privy to all the conversations/meetings/things said betweenst all the aforementioned parties and cannot conclusively say to you she was wrong in her actions either.
I am not taking sides. Rather what I said was don’t involve “us” the 24 people, some of whom are probably unaware of what gone on, in this game of tug and war. To do so is a spiteful, willful and wrongful act based on an emotional response intended to “hurt” “malign” and “punish” the person for whom one deeds to have caused them pain using other people to make that happen. That type of retribution is very different than making a decision (right or wrong) based on a belief system. And THAT is what I took a stand on, ONLY because I was involved in that and not by choice.
Do the rights of the 24 outweigh those of the 2? Absolutely not. Your rights, Kay’s rights anyone’s rights are just as important and critical as anyone else’s. The difference Barb is that I wasn’t involved in your issue with Pop, nor was I involved with Kay’s. I was involved in the part that Frolic made me a part. That’s it. Plain and simple. I had only that knowledge, and knowing that I along with all the other models had nothing to do with anything involving any of this whole big ball of wax is what caused me to publish this when I did.
I hope this clears up a few things. I sure hate to think you guys feel as if I’m taking sides because I’m not. Oddly enough everyone involved in this is on my friends list still to date. No one has kicked me to the curb, torn up my calling card and ditched me in the yea old round file yet. I’m really hoping that’s an indication that you all know while I may not always agree with some actions/conduct/beliefs for any number of you, that I can and will be as supportive as possible and therefore if not a BFF, a good friend anyway. Does that mean I’ll always say “yes” to you, or to them? No. I’ve never been a yes woman and I don’t think I’m about to start now, besides I don’t think you guys would like me much like that.
In the end you ask, “Do numbers matter?”. Well yes. But only to geeks, engineers, and of course those who watch David Letterman’s top 10. :)
Just so you know. If any, or either party wants to try and work this out in some kind of mediated way with the objective being to bring a halt to whatever disruptions/hurt feelings, etc., I am more than willing to try and help if I can. As I said to someone recently, I’m no Mahatma Gandhi, but I can certainly try to help.
But that's my point Cherie.. neither Kay nor I was in anyway involved in these perceived problems there are between Frolic and Pop.. yet she fired us anway (fired Pay before just for walking in Frolics FW)..
We were the first collateral damage in this and IMO should never have been involved.. Heck if she wanted to fire people that are the 'face' of Frolic (her words) why was Mimmi not fired? Why.. cos that, presumably, would hurt her business more than firing Kay and me.. She even stated in the offline notecard that she sent firing me, that she has no problems with me as a model or person - and if that my 'circumstances' change (ie I stop working for Frolic) I can go back as a Super. Of course, I won't.. I won't work for someone that fires on a whim.
I am not saying how Frolic handled this was right.. but she started this.. not him.
Barb, I hate to sound like a broken record but my point is, I was not involved in what happened between you and Pop and you and Frolic and Pop.
The only part I was involved in was the part that Frolic instigated which included making me and 23 other girls pay for whatever went on between the parties involved which did NOT initially include me.
THAT was what I wrote to… what I was directing my blog towards. That action, and that alone was what I wanted to speak to as behavior I find reprehensible.
Yes, yes, I hear you already you’re saying but we were first.. well what can I say? Typing “but it didn’t include me” sounds selfish… but it’s accurate. And the Mimmi part? No clue, none. I have no knowledge to speak to on that. Zero.
Now we can go back and forth from now until the sun doesn’t shine or at least 2012 according to the Mayan calendar, but it’s not going to change the simple fact that I was not part of this occurrence UNTIL being brought into it to be used for tactical purposes.
I said this before and I’ll say it again. I don’t care who started it or who finishes it, not my problem. Whatever discrepancies you guys have, you’re going to have to work them out either on your own, with a mediator, or not at all. You’re all adults and capable of making your own decisions.
I won’t think differently of you for whatever you do.
But my point being.. to post about this.. making it ALL Frolic's fault, without knowing all the facts.. makes this a very one-sided rant. I knew nothing of Pop's and Frolic's problems until she fired me.. and whether it is 24 or 2 models makes no difference.. and have been hurt (to be quite frank) by all the models that screamed 'injustice' at what Frolic did.. and ranted for hours.. and then you mention well what about what Pop did? and you get a 'well yes, that wasn't right either' and they go back to ranting about Frolic. Hell - at least Frolic offered a choice - I wasn't.
Either look at for all models or don't look out for models at all..
Barb,
I really hate to do this but, I’m gonna tell you what I would tell anyone who just said what you did to me.
Don’t tell me what to do. Get your own blog. Write about what you want. What bothers you, what you find interesting, what you don’t. But don’t presume to tell me what I can or cannot write about on my blog.
Next. You’re wrong. One sided? I don’t think so. The point of the blog was an action I found deplorable because I happened to be part of that action.
It didn’t include you? You’re right as I said MANY times, it was about a particular point. Sorry if you find that offensive but that’s the fact.
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